“I just finished reading Steve’s words in HopeSpeak, [January 2008] and I wanted to share with you my overwhelming feelings when I read the last line, “God has used our experience to save more than just ‘one’.” I felt an upheaval in my heart and was so touched by the words that I felt like I was about to break down and cry uncontrollably. Tears came to my eyes and I was overpowered by the feeling to hold onto you both and have a good cry over what happened to you two. What a way to turn a bad situation into what your ministry is today! … Steve’s words touched me in a way I’ve never been touched before. You two have such a special ministry and I’m thrilled to read how far it has come since C. discovered your web site. That your ministry has expanded worldwide is amazing, and you both were such an integral part of his healing. My wishes for you this new year are that God sees fit to offer your ministry more open doors and for good health. I’m so happy to have met you both... You both hold a special place in my heart.”—MA
“Today, when I came back from school, I found your newsletter and believe me that I didn’t eat and I didn’t even change my clothes before I finished reading it. I didn’t know what The Hope of Survivors means, now I understand. I appreciated you and Steve, your whole work, when we met in Norway and now I have a lot of reasons to appreciate you more. You have a lot of power, and a great heart to help the others. I was really impressed by what I read. I want you to know that I pray for you and the other people who work for THOS. God bless you all.”—Romania
“I have great admiration and appreciation for the ministry the two of you have undertaken, especially knowing a bit about the background that led to the very positive work you are doing to help so many hurting people around the world. You will be in our prayers. Pray for us, as we resume pastoral ministry in the Peoria-Sun City Adventist Church in northwest Phoenix. Though no longer serving on your board, you retain our love, respect, and high esteem as friends. Call on us if we can assist in any practical way.”—Ralph Robertson, (former) Ministerial Director, Northern California Conference
“First off, I would love to thank you for taking the time out of your busy day for me... you don’t even know me, yet you take the time out to read my story and reply even. You assume I am telling the truth and don’t assume I am making this up. I have wanted to tell someone for the longest, but feared no one would believe me. …You have helped me more than you will ever know...”—NY
“The time spent with you and your husband was very beneficial for the both of us. We had a wonderful time visiting. Being able to tell our story to a couple who was understanding and supportive was an amazing outlet for me. You both were so kind and compassionate to the both of us and it was so uplifting to be able to know that I (we) am not alone in this and that others have dealt with situations like mine successfully. I’ve read through the pamphlets and they are all SO good. I am getting ready to place an order so I can share them. …Thank you so much for listening to God’s direction in your life and helping people like me. I’ll say it again—you saved my life.”—IL
“Wonderful job! The newsletter [October 2007] was the best ever! You are great. Hope it gets out the need for The Hope of Survivors to continue and how much it is needed. Great paper.”—WA
“The ministry of THOS is so very important to helping those little sheep that Satan has scattered and it breaks my heart to know that many, many churches do not understand what pastoral abuse is and what it isn’t. I see very well—more than ever—a need for all the seminars and conferences you do.”—WV
“The Hope of Survivors web site was literally a ‘God-send’ to me and to my husband. Both of us were betrayed by our “pastor-friend” and found ourselves truly in the wilderness. You are to be commended for the depth and breadth of the ministry you offer. For victim/survivors, there really is no such thing as a local support group you can turn to in order to help minimize the shock and dismay of this particular trauma/abuse. Your web site became my/our support group, especially for my husband in hearing Steve’s story and realizing how all-too-common spouses are part of such a web. Often in the evenings, I would find great solace in reading the sad-but-very-similar stories of abuse and feel like I was not alone. Over time, your resources have helped our church understand the complexity of this issue. Your calm demeanor and sense of being ‘ever-present’ were affirming and healing to us. And, naming that this is ‘never an affair’ is extremely helpful, especially early on! Our lives have been ‘saved’ by God’s grace working through you to reach out to others! Thank you for being an authentic and reliable witness to the Gospel.”—B., Maine
“I am writing to you to let you know how you have helped my wife and myself get through the trauma of CSA. Early on, your web site and your emails kept us going when all was in turmoil. You helped us to understand what it was that we were going through when we did not understand ourselves. For me, as the husband, just having another husband who had gone through this was a blessing. Steve understood what I was going through and guided me through the turmoil of CSA. Your web site and educational materials were answers to our prayers in helping not only myself and my wife understand CSA, but also letting us help others in our church family to understand what was happening. Without you there would be no hope for survivors. Thanks for being there.—P., Maine
“I love your words. They are like a soothing oil comforting my soul
in this spiritually parched desert in which I find myself.”—A
Survivor
“Thank you for sharing with me and
being honest. Yes, the more time goes on and the more I learn and the more
I speak with you...well, the more I see the truth of all of this. Truly,
I don’t think you realize how needed you are and your ministry and
how much you are a blessing to me...I can’t even imagine how many
people you must have helped.”—A
Survivor
“I want you guys to know that the work you do is invaluable. Although
I am still immersed in the pain and regret of my actions, I can see how
many others have experienced what I am going through and that makes me glad
to know that I will be healed and whole one day.”—A
Survivor
“Thanks for checking up on me. I don’t
know what I’d do without your support. It’s amazing to me what
you’re doing. The Church is rich in tradition and devotional aesthetics,
and there’s nothing wrong with that. But, what you’re doing
is more Christian than anything I’ve seen the Church do for a long
time.”—A Survivor
“I am so sorry it’s taken me so long to thank you for your
heartfelt and beautiful email. It was just so refreshing to hear from someone
who sees the truth, and has had experience in this area…Everyone seems
so blind—I want to scream. That is why I can’t tell you how
wonderful it was to hear your words of encouragement and wise advice….I
have copied your email to the members in my family who are standing on the
side of God’s Word in this situation. Your words have been a blessing
to us all. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to
reply to me. I have no way to fully express how much it meant to hear a
voice of reason, filled with Godly wisdom. You are a good person. Finally,
I want to thank you so very much for taking such a painful experience in
your own life, and using it to create a ministry to help others see a bit
of light in a very dark place. God bless you and your ministry.”—A
Survivor
“Words cannot express how thankful,
to God, I am to have you to turn to with all of this.”—A
Survivor
“Thank you for your messages of today and yesterday…they have
been inspiring and a blessing. I need all the help I can get right now...”—A
Survivor
“I really want to thank you for your
web site...I wish I had looked for it a long time ago. Your site really
hit the nail on the head concerning the fact that an affair happens between
equals, NOT between a clergyman and a parishioner, no matter what….
Until I found your site, I felt so very alone in this…. What you’re
doing with your web site is truly God’s work. I know that that is
what Jesus had in mind for His Church.”—A
Survivor
“I look at your web site daily for a bit of encouragement and a
reminder that what happened was wrong, regardless of the response of the
church authorities. Without your web site and kind words, I’d be lost.”—A
Survivor
“I’d love to be a part of your
ministry in any way, shape or form. You’ve done so much to save my
life, my marriage, my relationship with God... Prior to finding you I had
AdvocateWeb, and they do still help with their online messages of hope,
but your ministry is *personal* and one-on-one, something a new victim
of CSA can’t get enough of as they’re struggling with the shock
and wondering if they can even live another day in their newly shattered
world.”—A Survivor
“I will never forget my first conversation with you Samantha...you
brought me hope.”—A Survivor
“First, I want to thank you for all
the information on the site! Thank you for this ministry! You were a blessing
to me! I hope more people find you!!!!”—A
Survivor
“I wish to thank you very much for your web site on abuse. I am
not a Christian; until recently, I had lost all faith in God, but your site
really gives me hope. Once again, thank you for the information on your
site, as I said, it truly does give me hope.”—A
Survivor
“Thank you for providing this help
to the victims. I am the full-time pastor of the Cohutta Georgia Seventh-day
Adventist Church and Senior Chaplain for the Dalton Georgia Police Department.
I commend you for your work and believe that we must do even more to assure
that children and adults are safe from predators whether they be pastors
or laypersons. We have hidden our heads in the sand way too long.”—Elder
Jim Cox, Pastor & Certified Master Law Enforcement Chaplain
“In addition to giving thanks to you for your help and support,
I have to always give thanks to my friend. She was the one who got on the
Internet and found your web site. If not for her, the guilt I was feeling
would have overpowered me and led me to suicide. I did not realize anything
about clergy abuse or that it was not my fault. Your web site changed everything.
I’ll never forget my friend calling and saying to check out the web
site because she said when she read it she got chills and thought, “This
is it. This is what happened to you.” She happens to have been a good
friend of the pastor and his wife, too, so it was hard for her, but she
reached out to help me. So many people were led by God to help me and most
of all my fiancée, in his love, was able to stick with me and all
the things he would say to me would mirror what you would say, and he hadn’t
even read your information at the beginning, so it was coming from his heart.
God is great and I give him thanks for what you and Steve are doing. I am
so blessed!”—Midwest Survivor
“Great email. You read my words carefully
and responded with steadfast support. It is refreshing to be heard so clearly.”—L.,
Illinois
“I am just so very happy to have found you right now. I have to
say your responses feel like balm to my soul because I can tell you listen
to everything I say and that you understand what I am sharing. I really
appreciate the love you have already shown to us. I am very glad that I
went to your web site and admire the fact that you have done this and want
to make your pain help other people.”—D.,
Ohio
“Thanks again for your prayers & concern.
It actually feels comforting to know someone out there understands about
the effects of such pastoral abuse & to have someone show concern!
Thank You! It means a lot!”—Survivor,
SE U.S.
“I can’t tell you how much it means to me to know that you’re
there. I pray for a peaceful existence one day, as you seem to have, and
to be at peace with myself with God’s help. I pray for that so much.”—K.,
Virginia
“You are very sweet and kind. I appreciate
your encouragement.”—A.,
Florida
“I thank God that you’re my messenger. You have no idea how
much peace I have about my decision, and how much you have blessed me. You
have helped me to see what the Lord’s will was from the beginning,
I knew deep in my heart this is what He wanted me to do from the start,
but I was letting worldly issues guide me, not the Holy Spirit that lives
in me. Thanks so much for being here for me...I know that I’m in for
a long haul and a rough road ahead and it is a comfort to know that you
will be there for me through it all.”—J.,
New Mexico
“I am so thankful God put you in my
life. You have been a great blessing to me. I can talk to you like you
were my sister. I do feel very comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings
with you. I really feel you listen to what I am saying and when I tell
you I am in pain you don’t try to brush me off by saying just get
over it. I am thankful that when I sent my story to you, you didn’t
just delete it. I am also very thankful for when I have talked to you by
phone you always end our phone call with a prayer. That has meant a great
deal to me. Thank you.”—M.,
Georgia
“The Hope of Survivors is a ministry that provides good information
about CSA, with an added personal touch. Samantha, who corresponds with
the women who have been abused, has e-mailed me, sent me books and brochures,
and even a birthday card! She has given me hope during the darkest time
I have ever known, as only a fellow CSA survivor can. She has also provided
me with the names of two other CSA survivors; women I have become close
friends with thru e-mails and phone conversations. Her brochures about CSA
are the best I’ve seen; a crime that is often shrouded in confusion
is brought to light with gentle truth and compassionate mercy.”—T.,
Ohio
“I found The Hope of Survivors via
the International Candlelight Vigil website in October of 2003. Since visiting The
Hope of Survivors’ web site initially, I have come to know Samantha
Nelson and her and her husband’s story, and I also have experienced
the glory of hope through The Hope of Survivors’ mission.
I’m an adult female victim of clergy sexual abuse. It is a very, very
painful recovery but The Hope of Survivors has supported me emotionally
and in other ways and I know I’m not alone. I can truly say that the
ministry of The Hope of Survivors has allowed me to grow spiritually, realizing
that the pain and anguish I have experienced at the hands of my former minister
was not the will of God, and that God is there to help me heal.
I’m very thankful for their ministry as it offers true hope for healing
from the devastating effects of clergy sexual abuse. My hope is that The
Hope of Survivors’ ministry continues to grow, educating and offering
hope to women, congregations of all denominations, clergy and church officials.”—K.,
Virginia
“I just thought of something the other day and thought I’d
mention it. I have noticed such an incredible release in my life from the
past—I remember thinking, okay—it takes about 4 years or so and then you’re
completely healed. (That’s still a long time!) And a lot of life has
been lost or strained due to a bad choice by the perp. But I’ve really
felt different the past couple months, and I think this is key: you told
me to get rid of everything in my house that I could—things he gave me,
memorabilia... I actually had a photo album devoted entirely to church people
and events, and it was under my bed. Well, I got rid of that, the ring he
gave me, all the papers for the attorney—I put it out of the house. What
a difference it made—and I didn’t even consciously think of
it—I just put it together the other day—had an “aha” moment—“so
THAT’s why I’ve been feeling so much better!” So keep
telling women that, who come to you for help—get rid of everything—every
reminder of him... every gift he gave. There’s really something to
that.”—T., Ohio
“Thank you so much for your web site.
You have no idea what a great help it was for me. It really explains everything
so well. I was in an abusive relationship with my pastor for a year and
a half. I am so thankful you wrote about the confusion because I felt very
confused throughout, because he kept saying this was from God…and
I was to be become his next wife, the one God ordained for him. He used
scripture continually through this whole ordeal. Scripture is hard for
me to read now. Thank God for your ministry. What a blessing to others!
You see, I don’t think women see this as abuse, they don’t
understand. But thanks to you and your ministry and web site, it is so
true, and everything makes sense now.”—A
Survivor
As you can see, God is using this ministry to impact lives in a positive
way. Please continue to pray for this ministry and those we serve!
